Love that defines (John 13:34-35)

GREAT EXPECTATIONS OF MAN'S LOVE:
IN THE GOSPELS—LOVE THAT DEFINES (John 13:34-35)
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Dr. Paul Manuel—2005

Love is a difficult thing to quantify. How much do you love your favorite food, your favorite song, or your favorite pet?

A woman went to the minister of a local Baptist church to ask if he would perform a funeral for her precious little dog, that had just died. "I've been to every other pastor in town. I've been to the Catholic church, the Congregational church, the Lutheran church, and the Methodist church. No one will do this for me. Please, Pastor, I loved my little dog as if he were my own child." "I'm sorry," the minister said. "We do funerals for people, not animals. I've never done anything like this before, and I don't intend to start now." The woman wiped tears from her eyes as she continued to sob. "You were my last hope, and I really thought you would help me. In fact I had planned to give $1,000.00 to the minister who would have a funeral for my little doggie." "Oh my," he exclaimed... "You didn't tell me it was a Baptist dog!"

Love is a difficult thing to quantify, and some things or people we might think are beyond the bounds of love. It is a topic Jesus discusses.

While the gospel writers all chronicle the last few years of Jesus' life, they do not all narrate every event. That would have been an encyclopedic task for, as John mentions at the end of his account...

John 21:25 Jesus did many other things [in addition to those recorded]. If every one of them were written down...even the whole world would not have room for the books....

The gospel writers also do not necessarily narrate the same events. Consequently, there are some incidents that appear in all four gospels¹ and other matters that appear only in a single gospel. During the Last Supper, for example, John alone records Jesus' washing the disciples' feet. On that occasion, Jesus issues one of the Great Expectations of Man's Love, and it is a Love that Defines. Please turn to John 13 where we see first that...

I. It defines your imitation of Jesus (John 13:34).

John 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

In the course of this series, I hope you have seen that God's love is not just a New Testament concept but is a divine attribute He has demonstrated from His earliest dealings with Israel. In addition, I hope you have also realized that since the same early period, God has wanted His people to model love in their own dealings with others. So there would be no doubt about His expectation, God formulated it as a command in...

Lev 19:18b love your neighbor as yourself...²

Surveying the law codes of the Ancient Near East,³ I could find no counterpart to this biblical precept. There are prohibitions against murder and theft but no admonitions to love. Apparently, pagan deities did not care how their devotees related to one another. Israel alone had this concept written into its legal corpus, and...

A. The early precept marks a difference in God's people.

Among the many ways the Israelites were distinct from those around them—with their own deity, their own worship center, their own dietary regulations—they had a prescribed way of behaving toward each other: It was to be characterized by love.

The abiding importance of this command is evident in its later usage. For example, of all the Old Testament passages cited in the New Testament, guess which commandment appears more often than any other and is the precept cited most often by Jesus himself.⁴ ... It is the well-known and highly-regarded admonition to love one's neighbor (9x).⁵ Why, then, does Jesus call what he gives to his disciples "a new command?"⁶

At various times during his ministry, Jesus anticipates his betrayal and death. This is not what the disciples want to hear, but he tells them anyway.⁷ He also explains to them that he embraces what is ahead willingly.⁸

Mark 10:45 For...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

John 10: 18a No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.

In the upper room, after Judas leaves to betray him, Jesus takes this last opportunity to instruct them and begins with this admonition: "Love one another."⁹ Still not realizing what lies ahead that very evening, the disciples probably wonder: "What's new about this?" Jesus gives a hint when he adds, "As I have loved you, so you must love one another," but the difference is still not clear.

He goes on to speak about other matters, then returns to this subject, repeating what he said and expanding it further.

John 15:12 My command is this: Love [one an]other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.

Whether the disciples understand at this point or whether they only get it after his resurrection,¹⁰ the new element in this command becomes clear in the light of Jesus' death,¹¹ for that is the greatest example of love.

Whereas, the early precept—from Leviticus—marks a difference in God's people,

B. The later precept marks a development in God's plan.

If there were ever any question in people's minds about how far God would go to show His love, the death of His son proves that He will do whatever is necessary.¹² Now, if God's people wonder how far they should go to show their love for each other, they have the example of Jesus.¹³ His death marks a new level of distinction in appreciating love with a new lesson on devotion in applying love.¹⁴

How should you apply this admonition? Does God expect you to love everyone?¹⁵ ...There are actually two questions to consider. The first question is: Must you love everyone to the same degree (i.e., with the same intensity or devotion)? ...The answer is "No." The extent of your love properly varies according to the object. The Bible identifies four levels of love, describing the intensity (in italics) for all but the lowest level.

• Level #1 (the highest level) is love for God. Moses says...

Deut 6:5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Your ultimate responsibility is to the Lord: You must love Him fully, with every fiber of your being, holding back nothing, giving Him your unconditional devotion. That is level #1, love for God.

• Level #2, the new command Jesus introduces here, is love for close believers (e.g., those within this congregation).¹⁶ Addressing the apostles, Jesus says...

John 15:12b Love [one an]other as I have loved you.

You have a special responsibility to the believers inside your immediate circle: You must show the same concern for their needs as Jesus showed for yours. That is level #2, love for close believers.

• Level #3 is love for other believers (e.g., those outside this congregation, God's people in general).¹⁷ Moses says...

Lev 19:18b love your neighbor as yourself.

You have a general responsibility to the believers outside your immediate circle.

• On the previous level, the model for how much you should love is Jesus.

• On this level, the model for how much you should love is you.

You must show the same concern for their needs as you show for your own. That is level #3, love for other believers.

• Level #4 is love for everyone else, including one's enemies.¹⁸ Jesus says simply...

Luke 6:27b Love your enemies...

There is no further explanation, no point of comparison, just the plain assertion. That is level #4, love for one's enemies.

God requires you to love everyone, but He does not require you to love everyone to the same degree. Your love must be appropriate.

The second question is: Must you love everyone with the same demonstration (i.e., in the same manner)? ...Again, the answer is "No." The expression of your love also varies according to the object. In the same contexts as these admonitions to love, there are also explanations of what that entails. The Bible identifies patterns of behavior, ways to show love that are appropriate for each level (patterns other passages confirm).

• Level #1 shows love for God by obedience. Moses goes on to say in...¹⁹

Deut 6:6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.... 17a Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God....

Moses is repeating, for those about to enter the Promised Land, the various laws God has given them. What Moses says here is that listening to God is how to show love for God. To love the Lord as He demands, you must surrender your schedule, your plans, your desires to His will. That is level #1, love by obedience.

• Level #2 shows love for close believers by personal sacrifice or self-denial. Jesus goes on to say...²⁰

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

To love those inside your immediate circle of faith, you must willing to set aside your life for their good, as Jesus did for you. That is level #2, love by personal sacrifice.

• Level #3 shows love for other believers by integrity (i.e., by being honest, fair, and reliable). Moses also says...²¹

Lev 19:13 Do not defraud your neighbor or rob him.... 15c judge your neighbor fairly.... 16b Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor's life.... 17b Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

To love those outside your immediate circle of faith, you must treat them with the same consideration you would hope to receive from them.²² That is level #3, love by integrity.

• Level #4 shows love for others, including one's enemies, by kindness.²³ Jesus goes on to say...²⁴

Luke 6:27b ...do good to those who hate you,

To love those outside the faith, you must give them what they do not expect and do not deserve. That is level #4, love by kindness.

Again, God requires you to love everyone, but He does not require you to love everyone with the same demonstration. Your love must be appropriate.

While it is helpful to see the larger picture—these different levels of love Jesus is dealing here only with the second level, with love for one's immediate circle of fellow believers. In v. 34, he explains how it is defined in their their imitation of him. They are to act toward one another as he has acted toward them. Whether or not they actually sacrifice their lives, their love for each other should have the same intensity, the same willingness to do what his love did for them.

That is a tall order. We have trouble resolving differences of opinion among us. If we cannot defer to others on lesser matters—to sacrifice our "likes"—we will never be ready to sacrifice our lives.

There is more. Not only does love define your imitation of Jesus...

II. It defines your identification with Jesus (John 13:35).

John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

Some people think that a person's religious convictions are no one's business but his and God's. Here, Jesus refutes that notion, stating that "all men" should know where you stand.²⁵

• Your faith must be personal—a decision you make—but it must not be private—a decision you hide. It should be visible for everyone to see.

• Your faith becomes most visible not by telling others but by showing them. It is in your walk not your talk.

• Your faith is clearest to others in the way you treat one another. That is Jesus' point here. Like it or not...

A. Others are watching your actions.

...and they are evaluating your profession—what you claim to be—by your performance. You prove your identification with Jesus by your love for one another.

Are there other actions that prove your identification with Jesus, that show you are serious about your commitment to him?

Both overtly and covertly, you transmit signals with information about you that others read. From that information, people learn (and judge) all kinds of things, from your income to your interests, from your education to your sophistication. You can, of course, adjust the signal so it conveys the message you want it to convey, and there are many products offering to help you refine the message:

• Botox and Bowflex to improve the way you look,
• Maserati and Mercedes-Benz to improve the way you drive,
• Hooked on Phonics and Verbal Advantage to improve the way you speak.

The list is endless.

Among the various signals you send are those that also contain information about your spiritual state and that enable people to answer questions such as...

• Is your enthusiasm for God a well-known fact or a carefully guarded secret?
• Do your close friends come more from the neighborhood church or from the neighborhood bar?
• Is your faith a large part of your week or a small part of your weekend?
• Do you read the Bible more than you read the TV Guide?

Here, too, there are products available to help you refine the message, such as worship, prayer, Bible study, fellowship, service. Unlike other products that claim to alter people's perception of you, these will change more than your persona (appearance); they will revolutionize your personality (character), as well as your productivity for God. In conjunction with the act of loving one another, these activities also prove your identification with Jesus and show that you are serious about your commitment to him.

If your life this week were a silent movie, if none of what you said was audible and all viewers saw were your actions, how would they evaluate your performance? ...Was your love for other Christians obvious, or was it overshadowed by other concerns?

Perhaps the demands of work or school this week offered little opportunity to interact with your brethren. Is there another measure of your commitment to Jesus? Yes, indeed, because, in addition to watching your actions...

B. Others are judging your associations.

...and the people with whom you share your life are the people who ultimately shape your life. In other words, you prove your identification with Jesus by your choice of friends.

So, who are your friends — not just your acquaintances — your close friends?

• Do you welcome their influence on your life, or are you wary of it?
• Do they encourage your faith, or do they discourage it?

If the adage is true—"You're known by the company you keep"—what do people know about you? ...What do they know about your spiritual life?

You probably do not give much thought to how others perceive your relationship to God...unless you do something wrong and hope no one notices. Why should you care what others think? "It's none of their business!" Right?

...Here, Jesus indicates that "all men" should know where you stand.

There was a reality show on MTV entitled "The Newlyweds: Jessica and Nick," featuring the dancer and pop singer, Jessica Simpson, and her husband (Nick Lachey). Cameras follow them throughout the day and record their most pedestrian moments. I have not seen the show, but some highlights have managed to make the news. Jessica is beautiful but, evidently, not too bright. (That she is also blond is simply a coincidence.) On one occasion, she asked her husband to explain the flaky white meat inside a can of Chicken of the Sea: "Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken.... By the sea." (She had a similar epiphany about Buffalo wings, and you can imagine how that conversation went.²⁶) Whatever Jessica accomplishes professionally, this incident will shape people's opinion of her, at least their opinion of her intellect.

Be glad that your life is not exciting enough to be a reality TV show, that cameras do not record everything you say and do.... But what if they did? What would stand out to people watching? Would they see that you are serious about your commitment to Jesus...and how would they make that determination?

...Jesus says here that the clearest indicators are your actions and your associations, namely "if you love one another."

When Jesus takes this last opportunity before his death to address several important matters, he issues one of the Great Expectations of Man's Love. As with Jesus' early followers, it is a primary indicator of your relationship with him. By it, you demonstrate to others that you are conforming yourself to his character and are submitting yourself to his command. This is Love that Defines. How well does it define you?

For the Bibliography and Endnotes see the pdf here.